The holidays are supposed to feel magical… but when you are grieving the loss of a pet, the season can feel heavier, quieter, and painfully different. If you’re experiencing pet loss grief during the holidays, please hear this first: your intense grief is valid. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay, and you don’t have to mask your sadness to make others comfortable.
Holiday traditions, decorations, routines, and memories can trigger waves of emotion when your companion is no longer here. This guide will help you understand how to cope without them during the holiday, how to practice radical self-care, and how to respond when people make insensitive comments. You deserve compassion, understanding, and space to heal.
If you want a deeper companion to guide you through this difficult season, my book Embracing Life After Pet Loss offers gentle support, emotional processing tools, and guidance through guilt and grief waves.
👉 Read it here on Amazon: Embracing Life After Pet Loss
I’ve also created a YouTube video that walks you through these same holiday-specific triggers with real stories and practical solutions.
🎥 Watch it here: Coping With Pet Loss During the Holidays (YouTube)
1. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve
When you’re grieving during a holiday season full of forced cheer, you may feel pressure to “keep it together.” But grief does not care what month it is, and you’re not required to perform joy for anyone. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Cry if you need to. Rest if you need to. Withdraw if you need to. Express your emotions without an apology. Your pet was family. Your grief is love with nowhere to go yet, and that deserves respect and acknowledgment, especially from you.
2. Focus on Radical Self-Care (The Real Kind)
Radical self-care isn’t about fancy spa nights unless that genuinely soothes you. It’s about caring for yourself at a deeper, more protective level.
During grief, radical self-care looks like:
- Saying no to holiday events that overwhelm you
- Creating small pockets of rest throughout your day
- Eating and hydrating even when your appetite disappears
- Reducing your commitments
- Allowing silence, or seeking comfort, depending on what you need
Ask yourself gently: “What would make the next hour feel a little easier?” Then give yourself permission to do exactly that, without guilt.
3. Create a Soft Ritual to Honor Your Pet
One of the most healing ways to cope during the holiday season is to create a small ritual that helps you feel connected to your pet.
You might:
- Light a candle for them
- Hang an ornament or keepsake in their memory
- Write them a letter about what you miss
- Donate something to a local shelter in their honor
- Help feed or walk sheltered animals to stay busy and give back at the same time
- Watch a slideshow or browse through old videos
These rituals don’t make the grief disappear, but they help transform the sharp pain into something meaningful. This helps to make a way to honor your bond rather than avoid it.
4. Prepare for Insensitive Comments (People Without Pets Don’t Always Understand)
Unfortunately, not everyone understands the depth of pet loss, and you may encounter people who say things that feel dismissive or downright hurtful. Comments like “Oh, It was just a cat” or “You can always get another dog, right?” can land like a punch to the face, especially when your grief is still fresh and the holidays are already stirring up your painful emotions. Someone might even tell you to “try to be happy” or hint that you should be over it by now. When that happens, it’s perfectly okay to protect your emotional space with gentle, yet firm responses.
You might say something simple like, “My pet was family to me, so my grief is very real,” or “This loss is still fresh, and I’m taking some time to heal before getting another.” You can also remind people that the holidays intensify grief for many, saying, “The season brings up a lot of memories, so this time of year is especially emotional.” If someone continues to press or minimize your pain, you’re allowed to set boundaries with something like, “I’d appreciate a little more understanding right now.”
You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation of your grief. And you definitely don’t need to justify why your heart still hurts. Your love was deep, your bond was real, and your feelings deserve respect, even if some people don’t know how to express it. You dont need to justify your pain. These responses give you boundaries while maintaining your peace and mental health.
5. Stay Connected to Pet Parents and Pet Communities
Grief can make you feel isolated, especially during the holidays when everyone else seems to be celebrating while you’re just trying to make it through the day. Staying connected to people who truly understand what you’re feeling can make a world of difference. You might find comfort in joining a pet loss support group, or you may prefer confiding in someone who has also lost a cherished animal and understands the depth of that bond.
If talking feels too heavy, you can still find gentle connection through online pet loss communities, where others share stories, tips, and comfort without expecting you to “be okay.” You might choose to journal your memories or quietly reflect on the moments that meant the most to you. Even watching supportive videos, like the YouTube companion video linked in this article, can remind you that you’re not grieving alone.
If you’re experiencing disenfranchised grief, you know the kind that society often overlooks, then feeling seen and supported is even more important. Surrounding yourself with people and spaces that validate your grief helps soften the loneliness and gives you a safe place to land. And if you need deeper guidance, our book Embracing Life After Pet Loss offers tools, emotional support, and healing practices designed to comfort you through exactly this kind of pain.
Navigate This Season At Your Own Pace
Grieving during the holidays is one of the hardest emotional experiences you can move through, and it’s completely normal to feel like you’re taking steps backward instead of forward. But please remind yourself of this: you’re not failing, you’re not broken, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You’re simply grieving someone you loved with your whole heart and a love that deep needs space, patience, and most importantly, plenty of time.
Let yourself move through this season slowly. Take things moment by moment. Day by day. Be soft with yourself, even on the days when the sadness feels heavier than what you expected. Find small, personal ways to honor your pet, and trust that whatever you’re feeling is the right way for you. There’s no grief rulebook, and there’s definitely no “correct” way to get through the holidays.
You’re not going through this alone. Even in the middle of the holiday hustle and bustle, you’re held in compassion, understanding, and gentleness. We’re sending peace and comfort your way as you navigate this season at your own pace so you maintain your mental health.
